|
SubscriptionsSites I Read
|
|
|
|
| the other night i was pretty stoked to be able to share a verse with my buddy joe. the bible study i'm in is studying ephesians. recently tuesday nights have become my favorite night of the week. i get to sit and talk about God and read his word with some people whom i've known for a long time. some over 11 years. and the friendships i'm making now excite me like few others have in the recent past years. it's getting cliche to say but it seems like there is a good amount of people "who get it" around here. and the density factor within the bible study for "who get it"-ness is severely high. so over all i can say i am blessed to be around such wonderful people.
but this past tuesday i was totally bumming about my job. and it tainted and soured my whole perspective. almost begrudgingly i stayed put instead of fleeing for the solitude of sulkiness. but i did stay put, and from the start i knew i wasn't going to be very talkative. my mind was not going to be focused on the text and i would not be adding much to the conversation. my mind wandered and rehearsed it's "woe is me" monologue.
but then in a moment of surprise concentration i read this " And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God."
and the word "together" stood out to me. and "with all the saints". and i thought how true it is that when people are connected through a bond of love, real unconditional, verticle, brotherly (sisterly) love, that we know the depths and the fullness of how much God loves us. through my relationships with my deep rooted friends i witness God's outpouring onto their lives. I see God's testing and discipline. I see them actively pursue a deeper relationship with Christ. and it inspires me. and it strengthens me. and its a joy to share the journey. and my love deepens for God because of the way i see God loving these people whom i weakly attempt to love. and i realize how much he loves them. and I realize how much God loves me. and I realize how much more i need to love God. so through my relationships that are established in love i really do start to see how wide and long and high and deep the love of Christ is for us all.
and that realization is enough to snap me out of any funk. because i love hanging out with my friends. i love sharing life with my friends. i love building and deepening and strengthening friendships that have so much invested in them. and to know that what is good in life is also a way to experience God deeper and wider and higher and longer! what a deal. what a grace. what a God!
three cheers for falling in love with God together, with all the saints, and through each other. that's what Church should be. i hope we realize how blessed we are to be surrounded by such a cloud of witnesses.
and i'm glad i got to share that with joey. my very deeply rooted friend. | | |
| sing along kids, you know you want to....
its just one of those days...its just one of those days
when nothing is going my way
and i regret everything i say
i shouldn't have gotten out of bed today
its just one of thpose days
its just one of those weeks...its just one of those weeks
when the bad times have reached their peak
and the sky above me is bleak
i've lost my paddle and i'm up a creek
its just one of those weeks
its just one of those years...its just one of those years
when i've cried too many tears
and i've drank too many beers
and succumbed to too many fears
it's just one of those years | | |
| the words that are usually on the tip of my tongue have swan-dived off the edge, or rolled back down my throat. my whole existence is shrouded in the thick cloak of apathy. my soul sojourns in darkness and the moon is held hostage by dark sinister clouds. my dreams mock me as i sleep. the day time brings no relief from the discontent infecting and spreading throughout my heart. | | |
| this snow is ridiculous. really the weather here makes me as gloomy as the sky. i had fun this weekend staying in for the most part. but part of me felt really lazy, and dirty. i sort of took the weekend off from everything though, using the snow as an excuse. i spent approximately 3 hours at my house from 9 am friday morning until 8 pm sunday night. i didn't go to church for the first time since i've been back in cincinnati because i didn't want to dig my car out from under the 2 feet of snow accumulated on it. i didn't go to otr for practically the same reason. instead me and hersh and tastic piled 3 deep in a hersh's pick up truck and hit up the breakfast bar a frisch's. i ate myself into a food coma. which is ok because i only really had a frozen pizza and a bag of chips on saturday due to my only food source being the liquor store. but i didn't want to go back to work today. i'm not sure i'm feeling my job at this point. and my supervisor is leaving because his private practice is taking off. which is sweet for him. and it's not like we're super close. i just felt really comfortable going to him for help when i needed it. now i feel like i might feel more lost at my job than i already feel.
the thing with my job is this: you need to be really self-motivated to do it. here's the thing about me: i'm really self motivated if its something i'm really into, if not, i'm easily distracted from the task at hand. i don't really like my job. not at this point. what i've liked most about other jobs is the "communial" feel i have with co-workers who are all in "it" together. but here, i'm a rogue. i get in my car and drive and meet with clients and schedule appts and really could go all day with out seeing anyone else i work with. and the co-workers i know, i like. like j-man. love that dude. but i never see him at work save for an hour on fridays when we have a meeting. an the person that has stepped in and helped me figure out what i'm doing is leaving. bummer. but it's like i told my dad. i'm usually not stressed out at the end of the day, and i that's better than nothing. i don't hate my job. i can say that much. do i like my job? no.
here's the high light of the weekend: my cinderella story
i'm at the NOFX (and no use for a name) show on friday night reliving years gone by when i wasn't as worried about the future as i was consumed by the present. No Use is getting ready to play their last song, "black eye" which is one of my favorite songs they have...and this girl taps me on my shoulder from behind. she's wearing sun glasses in a room where the only lights that are on are coming from the stage 30 feet in front of us. i saw her earlier. i thought she was cute. she asks me if i would put her up on my shoulders. i say sure. i have jer hold my beer. i squat down and she swings her legs around my neck and latches her feet behind my back. i stand up, hoping to God that i won't waver and look weak. remarkably i'm able to stand straight up. she's rockin out, grabbing jer's head who's standing beside me and making him bang his head. she does the same to my head, and i start moving to the music with her on top of me. at the end of the song she hops down. i would have been fine if she'd stay'd up there. but since the set was over it seemed a bit ridiculous. she looked at me and smiled, and said "thanks for the ride". i replied, "any time". we exchanged names, her name was anna. she asks me if i want a beer. she takes one from a friend and gives it to me, pushing the cup up making me chug a little. i ask her what she's drinking...it looks like water. she says straight vodka. she asks me if i want some and points her straw at me. i say sure, it was water. she says she's the D.D. then we pantomime a conversation because she wanted to eavesdrop on two of her friends who seemed to be in hot discussion. i invited her to hang out back at the house. she never gave much of an answer outside of acknowledging she knew the area where the house was. NOFX came on shortly after. during the set she was dancing and having a good time. and then she left...and after the show she was no where to be found. i mean i didn't spend a lot of time looking, but my eyes made a sweep as i was exiting. and no glass slipper. but a memory for sure.
here's what i miss the most:
having someone who knows you, really knows you, on the other end of that line when you make you last call of the night.
| | |
| 
the lion and the lamb.
| | |
|
